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Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand. - Emily Kimbrough


        We don’t live in a void.
There is a thing that we are not always aware of, especially while dealing with anxiety - despite what we may think, none of us is a lonely island. There are hundreds of connections between us and other people. Some we underestimate, some we overestimate, some – we’d like to get rid of. The people closest to us, though – friends, family – are a very important factor in how easy or hard it is to live with anxiety. To be quite honest, it is only now that I can really appreciate the support of my loved ones and see the difference it made in how my story played out.  

From my point of view…


I was a pretty young teenager when my anxiety attacks started – at first it would have been probably easy to dismiss them as something insignificant. I’m not a person who shares her feelings easily – when I was finishing high-school, others were described as ‘bright’, ‘funny’, and ‘open’, I – mostly ‘cool-headed’ and ‘self-possessed’. There was a time when it felt physically impossible for me to actually ask for help – the fact that I could easily control my emotions has always been a point of pride for me, and then they suddenly started defying that control. And since it was very difficult to ask for help, I’m all the more grateful to my family, who did all they could to get me that help. What did they do – and what can others in this situation do?

The do’s and the don’ts


DO help you get professional help – I can’t never stress enough how important this was for me – I found a therapist whom I could talk to and not be judged. I changed psychologists three times – don’t be afraid to do that. Trying to talk to someone you don’t feel comfortable with has no sense. Since I was a teen, it was my mother who looked for the therapists and helped me find the right one.
DO offer support – the simple feeling of certainty that you have someone to go for a hug and a kind word can work wonders.
DO encourage – to take a few more steps out the door than yesterday, to call someone on your own, to make this short conversations a few seconds longer.
DON’T push too much – guilt tripping, smothering, trying to minimise your feelings – all of us heard ‘just get over it’ at least once, and this is definitely something a person with anxiety doesn’t need.
DON’T act like nothing’s wrong – you can’t ‘wait out’ anxiety. It’s not something that will go away if you pretend it doesn’t exist.

Questions


1. What is your experience with your loved ones reacting to your anxiety?
2. What would you add to the list?

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.

- Albert Camus

Winter by dead-star
The Dance of Shadows and Light by DeingeL
Don't go away, my dear Winter by DeingeL


There is a privacy about it which no other season gives you.... In spring, summer and fall people sort of have an open season on each other; only in the winter, in the country, can you have longer, quiet stretches when you can savor belonging to yourself. 

- Ruth Stout


winter's fairytale by karinephoto
Winter by T-Solnechnaya
Winter by chipsetBlast of Winter by Elvandia


I prefer winter and Fall, when you feel the bone structure of the landscape — the loneliness of it, the dead feeling of winter. Something waits beneath it, the whole story doesn’t show.

Andrew Wyeth

goodbye winter by acoresjo88Still Winter by AprillkaWinter Berries by MUNRO-JAMIE
Winter by Piscisvolantis


We feel cold, but we don’t mind it, because we will not come to harm. And if we wrapped up against the cold, we wouldn’t feel other things, like the bright tingle of the stars, or the music of the Aurora, or best of all the silky feeling of moonlight on our skin. It’s worth being cold for that.

- Philip Pullman, Northern Lights


winter XI by vadaleinWinter Tale by RobinHalioua
Endless Winter by LarsVanDeGoor

Brew me a cup for a winter’s night.
For the wind howls loud, and the furies fight;
Spice it with love and stir it with care,
And I’ll toast your bright eyes, my sweetheart fair.

-Minna Thomas Antrim, "A Night Cap," A Book of Toasts, 1902

Winter iz comin by The-Underwriter


New Years Resolutions!

Mon Dec 29, 2014, 5:33 PM by AbbeyMarie:iconabbeymarie:


Some people love them others are sick of them, but I certainly understand the appeal of starting something new right at the beginning of the year. It just FEELS right. Like waiting till monday to start that diet you 100% are actually going to start this time, because no one want's to start on a Wednesday right?

Mine

I have a few! They aren't really linked to the new year, but they are things I'd like to continue to work towards and achieve!
  1. Get my license. I'm 23 and still can't drive. I have a car and a learners permit, and by this time next year I will have finally joined the rest of the world in driving bliss. Or die trying.
  2. Be a part-time freelancer. Making 100% of my living off of freelance work seems to hefty a goal. If I can just make a good majority doing freelance I will be happy! For now. 
  3. Date! Pretty boys can start sending in their applications early! 

And then my big goal I'd like to accomplish is....move to Maine! Main has become my promised land to me. I have never not lived amongst the cornfields of Illinois, and I am sick of it and I'm ready to head east.  I don't know anyone there, I have never visited there, and I have no
real security there. I just need to give it a shot. 

I have other smaller ones too. I'd like to get into jogging once it gets warmer. I want to send my parents on a week vacation. Other small lifestyle changes that have to do with my anxiety. All that good stuff!

Yours 

What about you? What are you hoping to tackle in the new year? How was 2014 for you? Do you have the weir hatred of odd numbered years that I constantly hear about? 


Coding by SimplySilent

Holidays: Comforting or Stressful?

Wed Nov 26, 2014, 12:53 AM by AbbeyMarie:iconabbeymarie:


Happy holidays my fellow neurotics! 

With the U.S. Thanksgiving on the 27th, and the winter holidays just around the corner, I am curious to know how you handle the holidays? It's well known that for some the holiday season is a happy time they look forward to every year, for others it can be rough and stressful or even sad, and then for some it goes by like any other month.

So how about you, what are your plans? How do you feel this time a year? Whether you spend the holidays by yourself or with family/friends, do you have any traditions? Share your story!

~ Abbey

Coding by SimplySilent
Today's article is somewhat different, because it doesn't pertain to anxiety itself, but rather a lighter subject some of you might find interesting.

The Myers Briggs Type Indicator



Most of us have probably taken more than one personality test in our lives –in a doctor’s office, trying to decide on a career path, or just to satisfy our own curiosity. Many are quite interested in finding out what makes us tick; we keep asking questions and demanding elusive answers. Why is it that some people are more open to new things than others? Why are some able to make quick decisions, while others cannot do so even when pressed? In short: how does „personality” work?

One of the most popular personality tests that attempt to answer some of these questions is The Myers Briggs Type Indicator – in short, MBTI. While its accuracy is, as far as I’m aware, definitely not 100% confirmed, it’s a test that’s sometimes used by corporations, psychologists and a myriad of other people – supposedly, approximately two millions of U. S. adults complete it every year.

How does it work?



The MBTI was created by Isabel Myers and her mother, Katherine Briggs, based on Carl Jung’s theory of personality types. Based on a number of questions (93 in the North American verison, 88 in the European one), people are identified as having one of 16 personality types.  As the Myers Briggs Foundation’s website states:

„The purpose of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®) personality inventory is to make the theory of psychological types described by C. G. Jung understandable and useful in people's lives.”


It is stressed that each type is equal – there is no „best” one.

The questionnaire is made uo of four different scales:

1) Extroversion/Introversion: first explored by Jung in his theory of personality types, concering how people respond and interact with the world around them. You can read about introverts/extroverts and anxiety in this: neurotics-united.deviantart.co… article!
2) Sensing/Intuition: revolves around how people see the world. Sensors prefer reality and hands-on experiences; intuitives pay more attention to patterns and impressions.
3) Thinking/Feeling: based on how people make decisions. Quite obviously, those who fall on the „thinking” part of the scale prefer to consider facts and objective data; those who fall on the other end would rather consider emotions and people.
4) Judging/Perceiving: revolves around how people deal with the outside world. Those who lean toward judging prefer structure and firm decisions. People who lean toward perceiving are more open, flexible and adaptable.

Each type is is then listed by a four letter code, for example: ENFP, INTJ, ISFP etc.

Personal perspective



I’ve always been interested in psychology and liked personality tests – they are not always accurate, but I’ve considered them fun. The MBTI is, at least for me, the most accurate of all of them – even though supposedly  up to 50% of people receive different results each time they take the test, it hasn’t happened to me – I’ve found an online version a few years ago and each time I completed it– I’m always INTJ. I agree with most descriptions of the type I’ve read – they always include traits like „analytical”, phrases like „strategic thinking” and, very accurately, „lousy when it comes to emotions”.  

How can I take the test?



Sadly, the only „certified” versions of the test can only be administred by pracitcioners accepted by the Myers Briggs Foundation or through a link on their website, where they want you to pay 50 bucks. Fear not, though – there are many free online versions which may not be „certified”, but it’s still fun to see the results . One of the websites – and one with extensive descriptions of each type – is www.16personalities.com/. If you’d like to try out a different one, there’s also for example www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/j… and countess others scattered around the web.

Questions



1. What is your MBTI type?
2. How accurate do you think it is?
3. Do you think a presonality test can make you understand yourself better?